Whinging: How to stop it.
Posted on | February 15, 2010 | 16 Comments
I’ve been catching myself whinging a lot lately.
Bloody internet connection’s too slow.
Who’s this idiot sending me crap on Twitter?
Why haven’t they approved my new domain name yet?
But let me defend myself, just for a second. I’m not usually a whinger.
It has been a month since I left my job after realising there’s got to be more to life. I haven’t looked back. But transitioning – from working in a full-time government job to working for myself – has been challenging.
Having all this freedom – and the responsibility that comes with it – means I’ve had to make some changes. Well, a lot of changes. Big ones.
If I sat around at my job whinging all day, I’d still get paid at the end of the fortnight. I don’t have that “luxury” anymore. Because now, whinging means loss of focus, time, money and opportunity.
7 tips on how to stop yourself whinging
In the last month, I’ve become a whinging expert. So, if you’re a bit of a whinger, check out my tips on how to stop.
- Catch yourself whinging – The sooner, the better. Today, it took me… oh, about 5 hours. Hey, not bad. Definitely room for improvement. I’m working towards immediate whinging identification time.
- Scream a profanity – “For F’s sake Lina!” is my personal fave. I’m sure you can come up with some crackers. The point here is to let go of your whinging.
- Change your physiology – Today, I put on a Guy Sebastian youtube. I had a bit of a groove with some daggy dance moves. Slouching, frowning, head down are all signs that you need to change how you’re holding your body. Get up, shake it out and breathe.
- Change your language – Groaning “Who was the loser who said life was meant to be easy?” while huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes, I’ve learned, doesn’t put me in a resourceful state. “I’d rather have the challenges that come from personal growth, than being stagnant” worked better for me.
- Change your focus – This always helps me to get into problem solving mode. Basically, focus on what you want – not on what you don’t want*. And of course, the next one:
- Get grateful – This is a winner. All the greats in history, and of today, live by this. It gets you to change your focus (tip #5) and makes you appreciate what you do have.
- Move on – Do what you need to move forward. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just forget it, take the lesson and move on. I love watching top sports professionals do this in the heat of a match.
*Just wanted to point out that Tips #3, #4, #5 were made famous by Tony Robbins.
The secret 8th tip to stop whinging
There’s an 8th thing I do when I’m in the mood for having a high level of self-awareness. And that’s getting honest about what I’m really whinging about.
Am I upset with myself for not doing something? Do I prefer being in this comfortable state of whinging, instead of using some brain power to solve the problem? Or am I scared that I won’t make all my dreams a reality?
Okay, that’s a bit deep. Maybe leave that for another day.
But anyway, no one likes to be around someone who’s whinging. Better to just let go and stop doing it.
Lina Nguyen © 2010
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12 comments
February 15th, 2010 @ 7:53 PM
What an excellent post,and how true are the points you speak on. I to was a whinger in the past, up until I learn’t the power of my own mind. You see, I discovered I have the power to allow or deny the blues ………just a simple decision .
Fisherman
Allen Sentance Fisherman´s last blog ..Haiti Earthquake Strengthens My Gratitude For Life
February 15th, 2010 @ 10:58 PM
Hi Lina,
I love your post
I guess we all have been whinging in our lives, but it doesn’t really get you anywhere. Unless you decide that this is what you want to do right now and you actually know why you are doing it (you are right, that can go very deep).
Your point #3 on How to Stop whinging made me think of Charly Brown, when he explains that you need to let your head hang down and arms floppy if you are frustrated, because if you would straighten up you couldn’t be frustrated and sad anymore
So – straighten up, be nice to your self – and go for it
Renee
Renee´s last blog ..Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind – Part 2
February 16th, 2010 @ 1:14 AM
G’day Lina,
My golden rule at all times is to ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE. Funny thing is, it deletes whingeing.This was a great article, and lets hope your message gets through to all the Whingers. 2 of my early blogs will go hand in hand with your post:-
http://easytoblog.uwcblog.com/thoughts-bring-results/old-songs-to-inspire/
OR
http://easytoblog.uwcblog.com/thoughts-bring-results/burning-or-flushing-the-negatives/
Cheers
Harry
Harry Lynn´s last blog ..Vale – Ed Thigpen
February 16th, 2010 @ 7:38 AM
Lina, that is an awesome post. Really well done. You are great at making things easy to read and understand. I love it!
Rob
February 16th, 2010 @ 10:54 AM
Hi Lina,
Great post, thank you.. I like no. 8 – because that’s when life gets really interesting and moves forward at a speed of knots. And as I read this, I can hear you are a great friend to yourself, and that’s important.
jo´s last blog ..Empowering Mindset – Persistance
February 16th, 2010 @ 11:39 AM
I love this post… thinking I should print and put up in strategic places for myself…!! awesome Lina, you only have to go to one of Tony’s events to realise the amazing effect of movement, music and focus on changing your state in a second hey – I love it!
Carmel
February 16th, 2010 @ 1:04 PM
Hi everyone
Well, I’m glad to see I’m not the only whinger alive! But all of you here have fantastic mindsets and you can get yourselves out of a whinging state quickly, I suspect. When I get frustrated, I ask myself what good can come out of this? I had a big whinging day yesterday, with things not happening as I wanted. And this blog post came out of it. So, glad it helped others. Just want to acknowledge Rob Mason. I skyped him yesterday in a flurry and he reminded me of Tony Robbins’ change physiology – language – focus.
Lina
February 16th, 2010 @ 2:27 PM
Hi Lina,
Enjoyed reading this. I find a lot of self-talk works and you probably do that when you run to get through the hard parts when you mind just wants to tell you to stop.
I also encourage being “in the now” as Eckhart Tolle would say.
Thanks, now I need to go and tell myself to stop whinging and get back to work.
Eileen.
Eileen´s last blog ..The Failsafe Cookbook review
February 16th, 2010 @ 5:01 PM
Great post Lina.
I agree the worst thing you can do, is to waste time whinging about something. Recognise it quickly as possible and deal with the real underlying issue. A 9th tip could be to have a poster or a screen saver of a person who inspires you. Someone who, if they heard you whinge or complain would slap you down and look at you with utter disgrace. Someone like Lance Armstrong, who is a classic example of someone who has achieved great success in cycling after combating testicular cancer. He is the only person to win seven times, having broken the previous record of five wins. Now that is a person you would not dare to raise your whinges to.
Dean
February 16th, 2010 @ 6:06 PM
We learn how to whinge when we are babies, because it got us what we wanted. It doesn’t work so well when we grow up. Another way to stop is to have a heart to heart with our inner baby.
Wal Heinrich´s last blog ..Genetically Modified Foods – Are They Worth the Risk?
February 17th, 2010 @ 5:04 PM
Hi Lina
Great post. My little funny is take the ‘h’ out of whine and it becomes Wine.
Now that is much more fun, cheerful and better shared amongst friends.
Cherie Rasmussen´s last blog ..Choosing Affiliate Marketing Programs
February 17th, 2010 @ 7:05 PM
Great post Lina. I also find that it’s very difficult to whinge and whine when you’re taking part in some kind of physical activity. Go for a run, for a walk, get the skipping rope out – and just try and whinge at the same time – the body just wont allow it. Always enjoy your posts!
Jan Littlehales´s last blog ..Raising Great Kids – Reading
February 17th, 2010 @ 8:14 PM
@Eileen – Yes, whinging can easily creep in when running. Doing a big long run – or any other physical challenge – is the ultimate whinge obliteration opportunity. That’s why I love tough physical challenges.
@Dean – If Lance Armstrong had sat down with me any time in the last month, he would have told me to get over myself. For sure.
@Wal – Good point. As far as I know, there are no other animals who sook as much as humans to survive!
@Cherie – Mmm, interesting… All you have to do is take one letter out of it, and it turns into something YUMMY. Just a small tweak that makes a big change.
@Jan – Cool! Nice one… I like that! Well, I guess you can whinge while you’re exercising. But it makes the task SO MUCH harder!!! That’s a perfect example of when you just gotta shut up and get on with it. But you make a good point. Firstly, you highlight tip #3 and doing something fun
February 18th, 2010 @ 2:37 AM
Hey Lina! Love this post! I too am guilty if this.. Lol.. But I like to call it venting! Let it out and move forward! Also, going for a jog, like u said, helps clear the mind:)
February 18th, 2010 @ 6:19 PM
Interesting topic Lina and one that doesn’t get covered too often! Some people are just masters at whingers and I’m sure everyone can come up with a few people they know who could win the gold medal for that lol.
You’re right, whinging doesn’t do good for anyone but it can be hard to stop ourselves from doing that. Get someone you trust to tell you off if you start whinging (my sis does that to me)!
Loved Lance Armstrong’s biography too. His feats definitely come from a strong mind.
February 18th, 2010 @ 11:41 PM
Helpful tips!! I am definitely a serial whinger…