Mother’s Love – Letter to my unborn child
Posted on | August 24, 2010 | 56 Comments
To my beautiful child.
You determined little soul.
May I honour the mother’s love I have for you, by attempting to put it in words.
Knowing exactly what you wanted, you called out to me. You asked to be conceived through the love between me and your daddy.
I heard you, loud and clear. And you’ve made your mark in this world, as soon as we gave you the chance.
I’ve carried your physical body inside my womb for 14 weeks now. Yet, your soul has been with me all my life.
In six short months, we’ll meet face to face. But I met your spirit well before you are to be born.
Although no one can see you, you’ve already brought bucketloads of love and joy to so many. I can only imagine the hearts you’ll touch and the lives you’ll change, including mine and daddy’s, when you step onto the planet.
You’re just having a bloody good time now, aren’t you…
Swimming around, sucking your thumb, wriggling your toes, drinking amniotic fluid and laughing while you hiccup.
Soon, you’ll be doing backflips and somersaults. I’ll feel your kicks and know, well and truly, that you’re inside me.
(I hope you like the naughty foods that neither of us are supposed to be eating right now… Ah, you love salt & vinegar chips as much as I do…)
You are so perfect.
You know how to just be.
You don’t worry, over-think, complain or question your purpose. You don’t stress about your future or how you’re going to make it through that birth canal.
You just are.
What’s so beautiful about you, is that you set your intention well before we conceived you. You know exactly why you’re coming.
When I wonder if I’m a good enough mother, please help me to know my strength again.
When I fear failure, please pierce me with your eyes and smile.
When I take things too seriously, I give you permission to fart and poke me in the belly and laugh. Please remind me that life is beautiful, when I might forget – momentarily.
I promise to remind you, with mother’s love, why you’re here, during times when you might forget – momentarily.
And I promise, not to get in the way of your greatness. I promise to be the best mother I can be and to love you forever.
Thank you for the privilege of giving birth to you. Thank you for choosing to be my teacher. Thank you for giving me the gift of knowing a mother’s love for her child.
My beautiful child, I love you so much.
Lina Nguyen © 2010
Life is beautiful – It’s all a game anyway, right?
Posted on | July 31, 2010 | 19 Comments
Sometimes…
It’s really hard to believe that
Life Is Beautiful.
Well, let’s face it.
It’s pretty hard to believe, a lot of the time.
Just look around. There’s plenty of evidence to disprove the proposition.
Injustice, suffering, greed, evil and war. Proof in history repeating itself, over and over, well into the present.
You could quite easily go through life believing that humans are despicable. Dreams are pure fantasy. Too many things are just impossible.
Have you ever heard that change can happen in an instant?
The 3-time Oscar winning Italian movie, Life Is Beautiful, will change the way you think about reality – and therefore life – forever. In an instant.
Life Is Beautiful: Why this movie will prove to you that Life Is Beautiful
Some people spread laughter, joy and goodness wherever they go. Like a bee, moving from one flower to the next. Making the world a better place, through their small actions.
Roberto Benigni (director, actor and co-writer) of Life Is Beautiful, is one of these people.
You might know the famous quote of smart cookie Einstein: Imagination is more important than knowledge.
This movie demonstrates why.
Could you think of a more cruel fate, than being forced into a nazi concentration camp on your child’s birthday?
This is what happens to young Italian Jew, Guido (pronounced “Gweedo” – love that name), and his son Guisé (or “Joshua” in English). From the very beginning, Guido explains this event to Joshua in a way that will ultimately save this little boy’s life.
Guido convinces Joshua that being in the concentration camp, is one big game.
With an amazing prize at the end for the winner.
At his tender innocent age, Joshua believes the prize is an army tank.
Narrated to us as an adult, Joshua shares the true gift his father gave him: Of imagination, the ability to determine your own reality… and faith in the possibility of the impossible.
By the way, for anyone looking for a role model in parenting, Guido should be on your Top 10 List. Because of Life Is Beautiful, I now have a clear idea of the kind of parent I want to be.
You could think of whatever hardship you’re going through as a struggle. An evil trick. An event that’s controlling you.
Or you could think of it as a big, fun game. Where you win a tank at the end. And the real beauty is, even if you’re not into tanks, you get to pick your own special prize. Especially for you.
This movie has had a profound impact on me. I watched it for the first time last night. A movie from 1997, I feel robbed that I’ve only discovered it now in 2010. But as they say, things come into your life, at precise moments for a reason.
I really needed this movie, right now, at this moment. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all morning. And now I want to share it with you. It’s my way of spreading some goodness today.
If you want to be moved, inspired and a reason to believe that life is beautiful, then get this movie. Now. Especially if you need a hand in getting through a tough time.
You can pick it up for a bargain here (through my Amazon affiliate link): Life is Beautiful
To explain why I love Roberto Benigni, watch this clip of him accepting his Oscar in 1998 (it’s had 1.7 million views as of today):
Have you seen Life Is Beautiful? What do you think of it? If not, what movie has moved you to the point of overwhelming joy? Leave a comment and share with others.
7 Facebook etiquette tips – Is your G-string showing?
Posted on | July 12, 2010 | 38 Comments
If you want to network on facebook…
Understand that there’s facebook etiquette to follow.
Just like you would networking in the offline world.
Imagine going to a business networking function and, as a guy, you walk up to a woman and say:
“Hi baby, are you interested in leather products?”
Or hounding someone, every time they walk into a room, cornering them to make you talk to them.
Or, some chick approaches you – crawling on the floor in a suggestive position – wearing a bra and jeans with her G-string hanging out, asking to be your friend (Okay, guys, you might not complain about that one…)
The funny thing is, my imagination isn’t so creative.
These are real life things that happened to me on facebook in the last few weeks. One of these people was actually a “facebook friend” (not a total random) with whom I have 30 mutual friends (or should I say, “had” – I’ve since removed him).
Just because you’re behind a computer, doesn’t mean that normal social rules don’t apply in social media. If you actually want to network with people on facebook – the right like-minded people – then think about these facebook etiquette tips.
7 Facebook etiquette tips
- Put effort into your profile – You wouldn’t go to a networking function with a paperbag over your head. People will only want to know you if they think you’re genuine. This starts by showing something of yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? What’s your business/interest? If you show little in your profile, don’t be surprised if you’re not getting the right people friending you back.
- Get a profile photo appropriate for networking – This is about basic presentation. Sure, have a photo that you think best represents who you are. Fun, professional, creative, avatar, whatever. I just checked my facebook account and there’s someone who has requested my friendship. We have 58 mutual friends (all business contacts), which is a positive sign. But half her left breast is popping out of her shirt. This kinda makes me think twice. Especially since there’s nothing on her profile about who she is and why we would make a good networking match. It makes me curious about what she relies on when seeking facebook friends, which isn’t a good first impression.
- Be selective with who you request and accept as a friend – Check out their profile and take some time to decide whether there’s a match. You ask for trouble if you’re taking anyone and everyone as a friend, without sussing them out properly in the first place. I personally don’t have a problem with G-strings. But I do have a problem with someone approaching me in a G-string without first making an assessment about whether I’m likely to appreciate it.
- Respect the friendship – If someone has accepted your friendship, you’ve created a relationship. They have agreed to get to know you, so respect that. If you want to grow that friendship, work on it.
- Be courteous when approaching people – Cornering people as soon as they jump online and offering them leather products without bothering to know who they are, isn’t cool. Apart from calling me “baby” in our first meeting, this guy pissed me off because I actually avoid wearing animal products. He got the wrong non-leather wearing, non-baby girl, at the wrong time. Friend removed. And, of course, you don’t want people to think you’re a spammer.
- Going the extra mile is nice – The people who write on your Wall straight after accepting friendship, stand out. Then actually making an effort to interact with you, by commenting, visiting your website/blog, helping you out where they can. They know how to give and take. That’s what social media is all about. They’re the ideal facebook friends who get facebook etiquette.
- Don’t be afraid to remove or block someone – Nothing to feel bad about. If a facebook friendship isn’t working out, then you always have the power to click that remove friend/block button. Ladies, especially. If a guy is clearly not approaching you appropriately, and he’s not getting the message, get rid of him. It’s best for the two of you.
If in doubt, check out the facebook etiquette as described in the facebook statement of rights and responsibilities.
What have you noticed about good facebook etiquette? Have you had a bad experience? How did you deal with it? Share with other facebook users and leave us a comment.
I hate my job
Posted on | June 21, 2010 | 28 Comments
Guess how many times the phrase
I hate my job
was typed into google last month?
The answer is: 49,500.
Somewhere…
In the English speaking world alone…
1,650 people searched for answers to “I hate my job” on the planet’s biggest search engine…
Every day throughout May 2010.
It’s the worst feeling.
The feeling of being dragged by the heels into a place you loathe. Every single f**king day.
It’s worse when you feel like you can’t get out. Because of financial commitments, expectations, pressure…
Or just fear.
It’s harder when you don’t know why you’re thinking I hate my job. Maybe you’re just whinging… In which case, stop whinging.
Talk to the guy who’s just lost his job and doesn’t know how he’ll support his wife and new baby on the way. Talk to the newly arrived migrant who’s a qualified doctor, but is looking for a factory job for a fresh start after living through war. Talk to the 8 year old who can’t go to school because she has to work in a rubbish dump for a dollar a day.
Perspective.
Gratitude.
Getting on with it.
For some people though, they’re not just whinging. There are serious problems in the workplace, like bullying, harassment and intimidation that makes work unbearable.
If that’s your situation, you need to get help.
Talk to your union rep, counsellor, lawyer, trusted colleague, manager or human resources department… You need to regain control when you feel helpless. You can only do that with a strong voice and support.
Maybe you’re going through over-work, too much stress, not enough work, crazy office politics that drives you insane, lack of passion…
All these things can make you think “I hate my job” too.
In any event, you have to feel in control of your situation. The downward spiral worsens fairly rapidly when you feel trapped. Stuck. Like there’s nothing you can do.
There’s always something you can do to make it better.
What that is, for you, is something you have to find the answer to.
Do you need to have a difficult conversation with someone? Confront your fears? Take a stand? Build your skills outside your job? Quit?
For me, the answer – eventually – was to leave.
Taking the leap was a process that took a couple of years. But I did it. And when it happened, the timing was perfect for where I was in life.
I went through confusion and frustration, not knowing why I felt I hated my job. It was a combination of things.
Some days were okay. Then I’d have really bad days. And when they were not so bad, I’d try to forget the bad days. Until they inevitably came back.
Part of my sadness at work, was not knowing whether I was good enough to go back out in the marketplace to sell myself.
I had lost so much self-confidence that I thought no one would hire me.
What helped, was building skills outside of my work – to give me the confidence and the knowledge that, no matter what, I could always earn money.
Independence from my employer (who, at the time, was the only hand that fed me) was crucial – mentally, emotionally and financially.
One of the skills I developed was the ability to make money online.
Yes, from the internet. I learned how to make money by myself. Just me, my computer and my internet connection. I got my start from this affiliate link.
Internet marketing is a skill I’ve been chipping away at for a little while now. And it’s helped me to get that independence and self-confidence I lost, somewhere along the way after finishing university, bright-eyed and energetic.
I now work in a job that I love. And I’m still building up my skills to be an independent online entrepreneur. I’ll never have to feel like I hate my job ever again.
If you want to know how I learned these internet marketing skills, take a look at my affiliate link.
Ever felt like you hated your job? What did you do to change your situation?
10 forum moderator qualities that make any online community thrive!
Posted on | June 7, 2010 | 19 Comments
Can you judge an online forum by…
The forum moderator?
Yes, definitely!
Top 10 traits that make a remarkable forum moderator
A top-notch forum moderator:
- Understands the members – They totally get the members’ needs, fears, frustrations and dreams by reading posts, profiles and observing participation. In an educational forum, they remember what it was like to be a beginner in the topic area. This allows them to lead with empathy and insight.
- Expresses thoughts clearly in writing – Communication in online forums is pretty much through writing. The skilled forum moderator explains concepts simply, chooses words carefully and problem solves with very little information.
- Knows the forum inside out – Good educational forums will have a stack of resources. The effective forum moderator knows where all these are and can point members in the right direction.
- Is chosen on merit -They’re hand picked by the forum owner or host for their specific qualities. The selection criteria and how they were recruited should be made publicly available.
- Has excellent knowledge of the topic area – They know what they’re talking about! Check out their posts and other work. Find out what gives them “I can show you the ropes” rights.
- Teaches, mentors and shares – This is what gives an online forum the spirit of information sharing. The forum moderator takes leadership as a teacher and encourages members to do the same. They are generous and want to see members succeed.
- Is accessible – Want answers quickly? Want to know that a call for help will be responded to? Want to be able to rely on good support? This is about service and their “care factor” in making sure you get it.
- Is well-liked by members – All you have to do is see what other members are saying to quickly determine this. If members can vote for moderator reputation, that’s a sign of a fantastic online forum.
- Has personality! -Your interaction and learning have to be fun, of course! After all, you want to know you’re dealing with a human behind the avatar.
- Moderates a thriving forum – At the end of the day, just look around at what’s going on. Do you see lots of activity, a mix of regulars and guests, and loads of recent discussion? If yes, you have positive signs of a great community and therefore great moderating.
If you’d like to see living, breathing examples of the forum moderator who has all these qualities, check out this forum moderator team at YOTA. (That’s my affiliate link, by the way.)
They’re called the Zodiacs and they’re my favourite forum moderator extraordinaires in the world!!! They helped me get this blog to where it is today.
The YOTA online forum is where people go to learn about internet marketing, affililate marketing, blogging, SEO and other cool things to make money online. The members rely heavily on the forum moderator team for their learning.
Do you know the YOTA forum moderators? Aren’t they the best ever??? Tell us what you think by leaving comment.
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